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A Dane Christmas Poem



A Dane Christmas Poem

T'was the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring;
Even the Dane on the couch.

The stockings were hung so frickin' high in the air,
In hopes our Dane couldn't get up there.
The neighbors were nestled feeling safe in their beds.
While visions of big Danes zoomed in their heads.

With gizzards and chicken and bones going SNAP,
The Dane hoovered dinner and prepared for a nap.
When out from the crate there arose such a clatter,
The Dane had to go out and empty his bladder.

Up from the floor he flew like a flash,
He tore out the door and peed on the grass.
He stood there so tall with a big head and lips,
He blocked out the moon like a total eclipse.

When what to my wondering eye should appear
But a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny danedeer.
With a little old driver so lively and quick
I yelled to the Dane "quick come in Rover!"
He ran up the stairs and knocked me right over!

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
I got off the floor and held tight my head,
I looked to the chimney with a feeling of dread.

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
I had concern for Santa, so I put him at sit,
St. Nick turned around and said "HOLY SHIT!"

The bundle of toys he dropped at his feet,
He said "OMG, what does he eat?
That must be a horse or some form of cattle,
Let me look in my bag and find you a saddle!"

I explained to Santa he was a Great Dane
A very big dog with a really small brain.
Santa got on his knees and broke a big rule
Before I could stop him he was covered in drool.

"He wouldn't bite, not even a robber"
Santa said okay, but was covered in slobber.
Santa laid on the floor all covered in jowls,
I ran to the kitchen to grab him some towels.

Santa said "It's okay, I am no cleaner,
What a cute Dane, but BOY what a leaner!"
We helped Santa up, with his bag of silk,
While the Dane ate the cookies and knocked over the milk!

He jumped back up, as if preparing to flee
He pulled out the presents to chuck at the tree.
He backed up the chimney in a bright flash of red.
I ran to my room, Rover beat me to bed!

We heard him mumble as he flew out of site;
"That guys' really nice, but his Dane's just not right!"

By Lisa D'Alessandro Dewyngaert

(Thanks Wysiwyg Great Danes for giving me the authors name, I never knew it.)

We had our annual Christmas Eve dinner at my Step-Dad's moms house and then had the grandparents over here to exchange gifts with the kids. It's now time for us to set out cookies and milk for Santa and a few carrots for his reindeer.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Comments

  1. This poem was written by Lisa D'Alessandro Dewyngaert!

    ReplyDelete

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